I have done the impossible!

I have done the impossible -- I made an ant smile again.

The story goes that there is an ant who wanted to have this grain of sugar. But this grain of sugar is not like any other sugar. It is special – very, very special. And our little ant is torn whether he should take the sugar or not. He is a simple ant who lived in a simple world. In fact, to have some breadcrumbs already makes him very happy.

But he longs for this very special grain of sugar. The truth is, just seeing the grain of sugar completes his day. Everyday, he gets closer and closer to the grain of sugar. And this cheers him up. But sadly, with each step he takes, a sense of bitterness inside him gets bigger and bigger.

Is the sugar right for him? Or perhaps, the more appropriate question to ask is is he right for the sugar?

To make matters worse, because this grain was very very special, every ant in the world wants it. And one of those ants is his friend. Every time he would see his friend sit close to the grain of sugar, he cries a little. But the droplets were so small no one notices them. They were virtually invisible.

You might think that nothing can be more unfortunate than this. But there is. What grieves our friend most is that he knows that his friend too sheds his tears -- small and unseen – when it is he who gets close to the grain of sugar.

I’m not blaming the grain of sugar for our dear little friend’s agony. The sugar was simply being what it is – a grain of very special sugar. So is it the fault of our friend ant (and also of his friend)? I guess not. They were also being what they are – simple ants. How does this story end therefore?

If I were to believe what other people tell me, I would say that nothing beats honesty. I have qualms about that thought but in this case, I think it is the best advice I can give to our friend ant – to tell the sugar what he felt.

But it isn’t that easy. Now I am at fault. I soon realized that to be honest with one’s feelings to another was not that easy. First, it demands that you put your emotional shield down and make yourself vulnerable. Secondly, one has to deal with the possibility that you might give other people a great deal of unnecessary burden.

What happened then you ask me? As difficult as it was for our friend ant to handle the things we have mentioned, he decided to go and tell the sugar what he felt. The process was not very pretty. Long pauses, encrypted messages, numerous one-liners (not sentences, just lines) and a gamut of facial expressions. Well actually, it was kind of funny.

In the end, (and at my great relief) my advice turned out to be correct. Now, the sugar knows about what our friend felt. And our friend somehow need not cry his small invisible tears. The last time I saw our friend ant he was smiling.

I could have filled this entry with angst, as I would usually do. With all that I have gone through for the past 3 to 4 years or so, it is hard not to be pessimistic about things. But the ant's smile has made me believe that there are a lot of things that I should be thankful for. That the past is the reason that you are. And that life is still worth living.