not ready to be unplugged

yes, yes... i got this line from her column... happy?

well moving on...

i now declare ms. ruby simundac as my official calendar. this afternoon, as same as in any afternoon that we get to meet, she reminds me that this is my last term in school. ruby would go charmingly, "awww... mamimiss ka namin... wala nang kuya toni..."

sometimes, i just want to say "oh, shut up ruby" and give her a big hug.

i guess the line sums up (however cheezy and silly the line is) whatever feelings i have. i really really want to graduate this year. kung tutuusin, kind na nga yung tawag sa akin ni ruby na "kuya." yung iba nga, "lolo toni" na ang tawag sa akin. (peste ka jj. lalo ka na! kung hindi ka lang mahal ni __ ... yikee!!!) and im also not helping my mother by staying in school this long.

but there is so much to be missed.

of course, there's the perennial school (production) work. there's also the sizzling sisig, inihaw na liempo and sirloin steak. you choose where to eat (basta lang hindi sa "kahit saan"). and the wonderful professors of the communication department. and of course, the site where much of everything in my (college) life took place, the dark room.

most important of all, what i would miss most is my family. mahal ko ang plaridel.

just this evening (until midnight), rc, deeaye, chris, jj and i went to Providence and do some videoke-ing. si rc lang ang may matinong boses sa amin. (oy, tampo si da... sige na nga, maganda din ang boses... ni christian bautista. hahaha. si jj, lumilipad ang isip. e katabi lang naman ang iniisip. yikee. chris, save the best for last. don't be sad, napagod lang yung videoke dahil sa kabibirit ni da kaya 97 lang yung ibinigay niya sayo. hehehe) what was quite heart-warming is when da, chris and rc decided to go and stay at my house. although they never got any farther than Taft Avenue La Salle, for them to come up with such a plan was nothing less than touching. da, chris and rc, salamat sa pagtitiwalang maaalagaan ko kayo sa pagpunta sa amin. okay lang yan. next time na lang. hehehe.)

they are only some of the people in Plaridel who i consider treasure. whole in whole, plaridel people might be the weirdest, strangest, most unpredictable, and quirkiest group one will ever meet, but certainly, they will forever be the most wonderful people on earth. (that includes you, tiny! although technically, di ka tao).

truly, plaridel ako. (or pwede ring, plaridel -- love ko 'to)

----------

para naman hindi masyado drama...

on the funny side, we were on the middle of a discussion in class this afternoon when our professor sighed from nowhere, "i'm bored." it was kind of surprising since she was in fact delivering the lesson quite animatedly. then she goes, "mr. cuesta, you teach." the whole class broke into joke and laughter. i answered smiling, "miss, seryoso ba yan?" she replies, "yes mr. cuesta. you sit here," pointing to the teacher's table before walking to the last chair in the front row, "while i go sit here." then laughter turned to cheers, "go toni! go sir toni!"

and that is how i get to live my dream -- a teacher for a day (20 minutes actually).

sorry, wala masyadong connect. hehehe.

kitsch to share

i hate kitsch. but for this, i will make an exception.

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater

and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

campus journalism

although it is true that we speak for the students, campus newspapers should not limit their existence to only this purpose.

ang paglilimita ng isang pahayagang pangkampus sa layuning nabanggit ay hindi lang taliwas sa mismong depinisyon ng pamamahayag kung hindi isang tuwirang pambabaliwala sa ugat ng bawat sanay na mapampalaya.

hindi tayo narito para itaguyod ang pakikibaka ng kung sino man -- indibidwal man o sektor. kaya't maging tama man ang paninindigang itinataguyod natin ang karapatang pang-estudyante, ito ay bahagi lamang ng isang mas malaking layunin.

ang tunay nating ipinaglalaban at itinataguyod ay ang katotohanan.

tayo ay nagiging boses ng mga mag-aaral hindi dahil pumapanig tayo sa kung anumang layuning mayroon sila. at lalong hindi dahil bahagi tayo ng sektor na ito. ang dahilan kung bakit natin isinisiwalat ang mga kuru-kuro at hinaing ng mga estudyante ay dahil may boses na nakikitil.

at ang pagkitil na ito -- ang pagkitil ng isang balido at makabuluhang boses na maaaring makapagpabuti, makapagpabago at makapagpapaunlad sa kasalukuyang sitwasyon -- ang tinatanggihan at pilit sinusupil ng isang pahayagan.

kaya nga't sa pagkakataong naiisantabi ang karapatan ng isang manggagawang kontraktwal, isang miyembro ng pakuldad na di-makatarungang inaakusahan ng pagnanakaw intelektwal at isang administrador na nagsambulat ng mga maling kalakaran sa sistema, naroon palagi ang mga mamamahayag pangkampus.

kung gayun, ligtas kong masasabi na bunga ng isang makitid na pag-iisip ang prinsipyong pangmag-aaral lamang ang mga pahayagang pangkampus.

kung tutuusin, sa tunay na liberal na pananalita, walang katagang "campus journalism." ang meron lang ay "journalism" -- "ang pamamahayag." ang "campus" ay isang lamang qualifier na tumutukoy sa normal na saklaw panlugar (geographical, proximal) ng mga isyung natatalakay sa pahayagan at hindi isang kategorical na pantukoy (bersus pahayagang pambansa). kaya nga't sa mga kasong mayroong isyung may kinalaman sa mga Lasalyano ngunit malinaw namang nasa labas na ng mga bakod ng pamantasan, hindi tayo nag-aatubiling isinasama ito sa ating balita (o kaya'y lathalain). ang proseso ng asignasyon ay ginagawa lamang sa dahilang pang-ekonomiko, aspetong pagmamalakad at pagbibigay focus.

isang kabalintunaan na kagustuhan nating pangalagaan ang ating kredibilidad sa pamamagitan ng hindi pagkilala sa ating mga kakulangan at sa kagustuhang iangat ang ating sariling pangalan, nakalilimutan natin ang ilan sa mga pinakamahalagang tenets ng ating pagiging mamamahayag.

falling.

still falling.

bola.

i don't know what it is with an inflated leather ball going through a circular metal hoop that makes it so popular a sport. well, i can give you some theories about it. from Freudian psychoanalysis to modern capitalist commercialism. but those are only theories.

if i were to be sure with one thing, this is it: I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

Today, after 2 long Lasallian UAAP Basketball light years, the crown is back to Taft! (Sa wakas, nakatikim din ng championship ang ID 103). And how sweet the smell of success is! We fought a good fight. From a dismal performance at the start of the season, we made the longest winning streak for season 67 with 10 straight wins. We were the underdog. FEU was poised to win a back to back. But the Green Animo (FEU has been using the word Animo in the UAAP a lot longer than us -- Mahilig sila manggaya ng cheers pero we have to credit them with this one) emerges victorious in the end.

I hate to taint this triumph with a rant but... (hey, this is MY BLOG anyway, is it not!) I'll make up for it na lang in the later part, promise. :p

I shoot for our schoolpaper. And for more than 4 years (and no, i'm not that old. I'm only 21 -- oh shux. yeah yeah. fine. im old), I have covered different events like street demonstrations and awarding ceremonies. But nothing beats covering the UAAP Games.

Yes, I agree that it is sad that the first thing that pops into mind is good old basketball, well in fact, there are about 15 to 17 other teams that bear the green banner for the school. I was just mentioning this afternoon to one of the younger people in the publication how hypocritical we are in the newspaper to criticize the students and the administration (and most especially the alumni) for limiting their support to the men's basketball team while, there we were discussing the stench of the system, 30 minutes before the game, texting friends and other "secret sources", trying to figure out how we can get tickets. We were praying to get in.

Courtside seats, courtesy of moi. (Thanks Betsy for the tip. Sayang wala ka sa game. You would have been proud of little brother toni). But when one sits with the older photographers, it is hard not to get insecure with the size of their lenses (no, this is not Freudian). Also, I feel sorry for myself when everytime i am reminded that their digital SLR's can shoot 15 consecutive frames in a second and can store up to 600 shots (full reso). So, with a measly Nikon FM10, I had to depend (as i have always done) on my resourcefulness. I really hope the pictures turn out good (pictures to follow).

2 shots left and there's still 5 mins of game time. my fault, my consternation. (Film bugetting has nothing to do with me quitting Financial Management.) So -- save the two shots for the post-game -- manalo, matalo, i need to get shots of the ceremony.

Ranting ends here.

2.26 seconds on the game clock. DLSU 66, FEU 65. Macmac Cordona is on the freethrow line for 2. The crowd is on an uproar (including me -- I was actually trying to coach Cordona: Tol! isa lang... kahit isa lang...) He makes both.

The rest is history.

This day is quite special. Not only because of the basketball championship. More importantly, what makes this day one of the best in my life is that i felt that camaraderie and sense of belongingness that every school spirit stands for. For one, di lang ikaw ang nagagalit sa kabilang team dahil ginagaya nila ang cheer mo. Yung mas obvious, when the team wins, the school wins -- when the teams loses, it has the school to give consolation. Pero, luma na lang din yun di ba?

If the record of the school stands at 5 championships in 7 years, mine is 3 in 5.

What makes this day special for me is the "thanks" i got from 2 of the younger editors. To begin with, they were not supposed to go to Araneta. Ck and I just convinced them to come. It was their first time to watch the game live. So, Ck and I got to our magic tricks and voila! Tickets! Pero, GenAd lang. Then I remebered last Sunday when my friend Betsy, one of the senior correspondents, got me a pass for the courtside. I remembered how she did her best to get me in, trying all the daya in the book. I was touched. I was with her in EDSA 2, in Mendiola and of course, in Araneta during the champioship series in 2000, 2001 and 2002. As a sign of gratitude, I wanted to share that care and concern for a kapwa mamamahayag, a kapwa PLARIDEL. Ck was also expecting to have some problems with his pass but I know he will manage without my help. "Kaya niya na yan." Ruby and DeeAye got to sit at courtside on their first live game. And they got to sing the Alma Mater hymn at centercourt with the athletes. Ruby, you have no idea how happy you made me today. DeeAye, nasabi ko bang wala ka pang ticket? =)

Another highlight of the day is the fact that i have confirmed to myself that I am okay. Losses from the past have made me weak, made me lose trust on myself and on whatever i consider as Good (take note that "G" is written in the uppercase). Pinilit kung bumangon ngunit muli't muli akong binibigo ng sarili kong diwa. Muli't muli, hanggang sa dumating ang ngayon. The injuries have healed somewhat and I find myself caring again. Sa dagat ng mga taong nagdiriwang, higit ka sa madla, higit ka sa pagdiriwang, higit ka sa lahat.

If only we can rejoice every moment of our lives.

We can. We should.

Actually, there is still one part of the day that i hated. When we got back to school, there was no food! Well, there was really. But it was for the alumni (alumni talaga o!) and the athletes. Okay lang, may bukas naman e.

Tomorrow, I will be happy. Bilog ang mundo.