Sunday, December 19, 2004

"forget it"

okay. it seems anyhow that you're better off without someone pestering you once in a while.

curse me for caring. damn me for wanting to be a part of your life.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

some clarifications to "just thinking aloud"

What you are doing is unfair. You have been warned by people. You have been reminded by her from the start. You wanted to show in your post how hurt you are with the things that are and are not happening. But it just reveals how insensitive you are and that you're totally way out of line. Why blame the universe for your misfortunes. Why blame people for your pains. If you want it said in Filipino: Hindi umiikot ang mundo sa iyo, toni. Grow up. You're 21. Get a life. And live that life. Set goals for yourself and be happy each step of the way, even during times of occasional failures. Carry with you the hope that everything will turn out right. Maybe not now. But someday.

Stop Thinking and Start Doing.

Sorry for being hard on you.

-toni

just thinking aloud

Am I doing it wrong? Am I thinking too much? Am I dreaming too much? Do I have to stop? Is the universe telling me to stop? Is she telling me to stop? Why? Will I? What now?

If there’s one place worse than hell, it would be limbo. It is a place where people never answer questions when asked.

My fault perhaps. It's like a saying my mom keeps on joking about: Pinangakuan ka na nga, gusto mo pa nila tuparin. In this case: Hinayaan ka na nga magtanong, gusto mo pang sagutin ka ng matino.

And things can't get any better. Ngayon, totally wala nang sagot. Dahil sabi ng universe, Toni, tama na. She's way out of your league. We, the council of heavenly beings, want your happiness. And hindi ito ang makapagdadala sa iyo ng kaligayahan. Uminom ka na lang ng beer at magmukmok sa isang tabi at gawin mo yung thesis mo. Sa ganon, makagraduate ka na at para makapunta ka na sa States. at dun, magtanim sa ng kangkong sa snow. *All fresh, All natural. Imported kangkong from the USA* E di mafeafeature ka pa sa TV. Tapos, may isang babaeng mahilig sa vegetables na makakakita sa iyo sa tv at mapupusuan ka. Tapos, tatawagan ka niya sa address na nakasulat dun sa lata ng Campbell's Cream of Kangkong. Tapos, magkikita kayo. Bells, bells, bells. And you'll live happily ever after. O di mapapalabas ka pa sa Magpakailanman. Alam naman naming ayaw mo sa Maalaala Mo Kaya. E di ba pwedeng pang nobela yung istorya mo. Isulat mo at malay mo ay manalo ka pa ng Palanca. Palanca? Small time! Noble Prize for Literature.

Kaya toni, stop na. Just STOP!

Hay.

Christmas Wishlist

3 things.

1. Wisdom in a box
kung pwede blue. tapos microwavable para may pangmerienda na rin ako sa mga panahong gumagawa ako ng thesis ng alas kwatro ng umaga at gutum na gutom na ako. at sana, yung di mabilis mabasa at di takaw langgam. anung use ng wisdom kung ngangatngatin lang din ng anay di ba. at sana, may manual para gamitin yung wisdom. pero wait, kung may manual pa, e di hindi wisdom yun dahil kailangan mu pa ng instructions. i rest my case. kulang ako sa wisdom.

2. Amnesia in a bottle
kahit yung 500 mL lang. baka masyadong mahal kasi yung 1 Liter. tapos kung pwede, yung tipong selective yung memory na pwede niyang burahin. ayoko namang maging bobo. at saka sana, yung greaseless. kasi, pagagalitan ako ng nanay ko kung magkakalat ako ng mga traces nung potion at baka pati ako, makalimutan niya kung sino. baka palayasin ako nun sa bahay. eto pang galit na galit siya sa akin ngayon. uulitin ko, amnesia in a bottle. hindi yan genie in a bottle. wala namang genie.

3. Rewind button for Life
yun tipong dvd rewinder. yung mabilis. kasi, masyadong matagal kung tipong yung sa VHS. imaginin mo, 21 years, irerewind mu, e di inabot ka nang siyam siyam nun. maganda rin kasi kung tipong sa dvd dahil may titles yung chapter. tipong: isinilang si toni, nasira ang bisikleta ni toni. natutunan ni toni ang pag-ibig. isinumpa ni toni ang pag-ibig. muntik nang masiraan si toni. may nakilala si toni. umasa at muling nabigo si toni. yung ganun. at sana, batteries included. magreregalo na lang naman, sana, siguraduhing gumagana naman di ba? at sana, rewritable. at walang quick retrieve button. para totally burado na!

sana ay tulungan niyong maging masaya ang buhay ko dahil ako mismo ay di ko na alam ang gagawin ko. di ba nga, Christmas is a time of caring? sana, may nagke-care pa sa akin sa mundo dahil ako mismo, malapit na akong mag-give-up sa sarili ko. salamat.

btw, kahit wala nang wrapper at ribbon. basta may magbigay lang. masaya na ako.

Monday, December 13, 2004

words to describe my life

Sablay.
Hassle.
Sayang.

top of my head lang. marami pa yan.