little new friend

good things do come in small packages. for three days now, i've been in good company with a new friend - my little blue walkman. well, it's not really that small. it's actually just a little smaller than a diskman and just a little thinner. Malaki nga daw siya sabi ni chuck. it's a gift from my ate last christmas. but i only got it working the night before yesterday because i always forget to buy batteries for it. but since I got it working, i haven't put it down. i even had it playing while i was sleeping. then, i even had it playing the whole day yesterday. it really proved very useful during jeepney rides when it saved me the agony of listening to yeye bonel, si manloloko ka pala and the likes.

some features: it has a speaker that plays really loud when you take the earphone plug off. so you can hear it playing in the sala while you're doing your thing in the bathroom. it also has a clock which goes with a stop watch mode, an alarm mode and a calendar mode. pretty cool huh? energy consumption isn't that bad either. The radio works on 2 AAA batteries while the clock works on a separate minibattery. The battery lasted me three days considering I have had it playing continuously for almost 72 hours straight. And the battery that I use are cheap too – 10 pesos for a 4 piece pack.

but it do has its downsides. since it's a cheap walkman, the kind that they give out as freebies, it doesn't have a tuner display. so you get to practice your psychic abilities guessing what station is currently playing. also, it sometimes have problems with the reception specially when in transit and when inside thickly walled areas. but who cares? as long as it plays Jam, Wave and Joey.

I guess the reason that I rave about it too much is that finally, I have found something that suits me: a loner. I rarely speak and I don’t really like mingling with crowds of people. Also, it doesn’t mind me being quiet. I’m not pressured to talk when I don’t have anything that important to say. I guess people often forget about that when it comes to friends. For me, one of the measure of a good friend is someone that you can be quiet with. sometimes, words become superfluous. and all you want is their company – their presence. yung nandyan lang siya, ok na ako.

second, I think I like listening to my walkman (radio lang daw sabi ni winkle dahil di naman daw kasi nagpeplay ng tape), because it tells me the emotions I have that I can’t and sometimes, don’t dare articulate. Angels and demons of Dishwalla is one. Broken by Seether is another. Barely Breathing by Duncan Shiek, You’ll Be Safe Here by Rivermaya, and Lullaby – Shawn Mullins, Something About You – Five for fighting and a lot more, mostly, those songs that they play in Jam. Sometimes, it just feels good to hear yourself with another voice, to be another person. And you realize that you are not the only human in the world.

third, I think I like listening because I like to think. While people see thinking as a chore, a pursuit necessitating a goal, I do it as a hobby, a pastime, a wandering and a wondering. I guess that’s why I’m so thin – I burn more calories in 1 hour than another person would probably burn for a day. i just like thinking. And having something setting the mood in the background is a heaven-sent.

fourth, and this is much related to number 1, having earphones on gives me the right to ignore people. Something I learned from reading books is that it lets you be suplado without the necessary guilt. (Sounds like an ad for a dairy product. Or a sweetener.) Let’s face it, there are a lot of annoying people around and there is little room left in the world for other people to hide to. I admit I do sometimes become one of those annoying people but I do have the red pill in hand (or is that the blue pill?). Admittedly, for our generation, all that we can do is escape, even just for a moment.

As for now, I will be listening, escaping, thinking, articulating -- alone -- until the dawn breaks. Or until the batteries of my little new friend run-out.