Libre ni Sir Oliver kanina. Last day ko na kasi sa STAGES. Para bang Last Supper at bukas ay ipapako na ako. Well, mapapako ulit sa Thesis. =) The truth is, it’s not really my last day. I’ll still be working with Sir for Art Petron, Footloose, Once on This Island rerun and some marketing stuff for Trumpets. Tomorrow, we’ll be at Red Crab Greenbelt for the blockbuyers’ orientation (can’t wait to see Ate Ria!). Also, Sir Oli says I’d still be his priority writer if he needs some press releases and feature articles done. When I asked if STAGES had a replacement already in mind, Sir Oliver said they will try as long as they can not to have me replaced yet. There were days when Sir Oli would say, “Ikaw kasi, di mo pa kasi tapusin yang thesis na yan!” (That’s why they can’t hire me to be permanent) Strangely, it seems they liked my work. Hehe. Salamat naman. I hate disappointing people kasi e. As Ms.Tess said, “You’re always welcome to come back after you’ve finished your thesis.” =)
***
It’s basic film theory: A film is a suspension of disbelief. But I guess I was counting sheeps when that particular subject was being discussed in class. Imagine Spielberg’s E.T.s on drugs, driving monstrous 90-foot mechanized tripeds, emerging from sky, water and land to make spaghetti sauce out of human beings! And don’t forget the all-enduring protagonist who effortlessly escapes harm’s way trying to get to Boston and manages to destroy one of those giant contraptions using 2 grenades (which conveniently appeared out of nowhere) when an entire team of air and ground forces couldn’t even scratch the damn things. And what’s with that van of theirs? – the one which happened to survive an EMP shockwave, an airplane crash right next to it, a crash into an electrical post, an attack of a desperately insane mob and still run God-knows-how-far-a-distance on a single tank of fuel.
Yes, I’m talking about that oversized road-trip movie War of the Worlds. Heavy-handed, artificial, and ridiculously unbelievable, War of the Worlds is everything you’d expect a Hollywood sci-fi film to be. My mother never was a film person, except perhaps when you ask her about the tandem of Guy and Pip or the loveteam of Nestor De Villa and Nida Blanca and maybe some memories about Rogelio Dela Rosa and Rosa Rosal. But when we were watching the movie and I was calmly taking mental notes on what I was going to blog later that night, quietly, she was the first to react, “bida nga.” Aside from those I have already mentioned above, the list of irrefutably improbable and preposterously impossible occurrences in the movie goes on and on and on. But above all these inconsistencies, the most glaring fault of this movie is the way they have presented extraterrestrial beings – ironically, the manner to which these aliens have waged their war is so characteristically and unmistakably human: devious, unsophisticated, and recklessly stupid.
First point: They rely entirely on brawn. Using World War 2 standards, there is a basic formula to which one can gauge the effectiveness of a war machine:
***
It’s basic film theory: A film is a suspension of disbelief. But I guess I was counting sheeps when that particular subject was being discussed in class. Imagine Spielberg’s E.T.s on drugs, driving monstrous 90-foot mechanized tripeds, emerging from sky, water and land to make spaghetti sauce out of human beings! And don’t forget the all-enduring protagonist who effortlessly escapes harm’s way trying to get to Boston and manages to destroy one of those giant contraptions using 2 grenades (which conveniently appeared out of nowhere) when an entire team of air and ground forces couldn’t even scratch the damn things. And what’s with that van of theirs? – the one which happened to survive an EMP shockwave, an airplane crash right next to it, a crash into an electrical post, an attack of a desperately insane mob and still run God-knows-how-far-a-distance on a single tank of fuel.
Yes, I’m talking about that oversized road-trip movie War of the Worlds. Heavy-handed, artificial, and ridiculously unbelievable, War of the Worlds is everything you’d expect a Hollywood sci-fi film to be. My mother never was a film person, except perhaps when you ask her about the tandem of Guy and Pip or the loveteam of Nestor De Villa and Nida Blanca and maybe some memories about Rogelio Dela Rosa and Rosa Rosal. But when we were watching the movie and I was calmly taking mental notes on what I was going to blog later that night, quietly, she was the first to react, “bida nga.” Aside from those I have already mentioned above, the list of irrefutably improbable and preposterously impossible occurrences in the movie goes on and on and on. But above all these inconsistencies, the most glaring fault of this movie is the way they have presented extraterrestrial beings – ironically, the manner to which these aliens have waged their war is so characteristically and unmistakably human: devious, unsophisticated, and recklessly stupid.
First point: They rely entirely on brawn. Using World War 2 standards, there is a basic formula to which one can gauge the effectiveness of a war machine:
E = f (p,s,a) ; where Effectiveness in warfare is the function of firepower, speed and armor.
What’s wrong with the picture? Read again: World War 2 standards. The formula doesn’t factor in other capabilities that present war machines have such as stealth (as in the case of B2 bombers or germ warfare perhaps), sustainability (as in the case of nuclear submarines that can go underwater for ages without refueling) and ability to be dispatched quickly (as in the case of VTOL’s – vertical take-off and landing fighters). To cut the long story short, trampling over and firing laser beams at puny little humans is as primitive a manner of aggression as Barok smashing Cheetae with a club. Strangely, it is the humans who have (unknowingly) employed the more “advanced” tactics of galactic warfare, making use of their ultra-fantabulous, uber-powerful and super-califragilisticexpialidocious immune system. This brings me to my second point.
Second point: For a pretty advanced civilization, they surely are pretty dumb. Let’s work with the story’s premise, a remorsefully unscientific but still valid attempt to put some internal logic to the film: The aliens have been planning this for millions of years (which is stupid since if in the first encounter the aliens already had the technology to travel into space, and burrow into the earth to hide such extremely large robots which have the capacity to blast everything on their path to kingdom-come, why didn’t they try at that moment to take-over the world when all the Neanderthal had were implements made of wood and stone… actually, to be historically accurate, the Neanderthal did not exist until 60,000 years ago, and what were existing 2 miilion years ago were homonids (creatures resembling human physiology) who actually don't have an idea what a stone is, thus erasing any decipherable opposition to their diabolical plans). It’s common sense, the more you plan, the less room for error. With such level of intelligence, and such a long time, one is left to ask: Is this the best they can do?
Third point: War is a concept created by man’s greed. The underlying principle at work here is that aliens are anthropomorphic. They indulge, they desire, they conspire and they kill – the way humans do. But the fact of the matter is, they would probably not think the way we think. Physiologically, there is little chance that they’ll be humanoids (beings which have some resemblance to human form). They probably won’t even have a physical form. Many planets have gaseous compositions, and to have a physical form like ours in that environment would surely be of disadvantage to them (or they won't even be in that form in the first place because they have to evolve to something else). Thus, concepts of mobility through walking, or digestion through sucking, or slaughter through laser beams, would probably be missing in their dictionary. But for a second, let’s imagine that aliens do look like what the creators thought of them to look. On a sociological standpoint, it is still unlikely that they would be able to conquer new worlds if their civilization can breed such destructively hostile behavior. It is most likely that with the technology they have, they would have probably blown themselves altogether before they could launch a single pod into space. If that be the case, then at least, we won’t be the only species in the universe who are capable of blasting itself into smithereens.
Interestingly, the most convincing representation of alien beings in a movie that I have seen is that of another Spielberg film. No, it’s not E.T. (duh?) Contact, where Jodie Foster plays an “orphaned” (in parentheses because she had no one and nothing to believe in except herself, alone in her search of that universal truth) scientist. It was a film dedicated to Karl Sagan, one of the greatest astrophysicists of our time. He (Karl Sagan) has authored several books regarding the possibility of extraterrestrial life, religion and philosophy.
And once again, I have stretched another topic to excruciatingly boring lengths. Tsk, tsk.
For all its worth, it is as suspenseful as my friends told me it was. Technically, I was amazed with how they made that freaking camera move so mobile. Especially when the family was in the van while going down the expressway, zigzagging its (the camera as well as the van) way around cars and other obstructions. Also, I have to admit that they did try to explore the main point of the story which is human’s desire for survival (but why do they have to make it so melodramatic? and it felt artificial. hay…). thus making any scientific incongruence a secondary if not an irrelevant concern. Story-wise, the best parts for me are: 1) when Ray, Robin and Rachel are inside the diner as gunshots are fired at the man who took their van 2) when Ray chooses between Robin and Rachel as the unstoppable leviathans try to make space dust out of poor helpless humans.
But again, going back to my original point, even a great director can’t hide the many inconsistencies in the story – a perfect example of the difficulties of adapting a story from one medium to another. I don’t blame them though for trying. CGI has made magic out of movies, making possible things older filmmakers only dreamed about during their time (a special mention goes to Orson Wells who did a stunt on radio in the 1970s which caused him some time behind bars and a deal of government fines for starting a public disturbance – apparently, people thought that Orson Wells news program was true: that aliens were trying to take over the world).
Final judgment: A popcorn movie of colossal proportions. Even H.G. Wells would have been happy, if only his other novel “Time Machine” could have been as real.
***
Last day of being 21 yesterday. Ang daming nangyari sa taong ito. And I have a hunch there sre plenty of exciting things to come. I’m really getting old. Hehehe. Maraming maraming maraming salamat po dun sa mga bumati. =) really really appreciate it.
By the way, as you may have noticed, this is my second post in 3 days (and very long posts at that). Kasi, I’ve noticed that my folder for unpublished posts is starting to get bigger and bigger; ideas and feelings that get wasted in harddrive space. You know, it’s like when you mean to say things but you’re not good in writing so you postpone it. And then even when a post is really necessary you still don’t publish your thoughts because somehow, you feel you still have to post those stuff that you have postponed to post but you don’t feel like finishing them anymore. And then, if you don’t write for awhile, it gets harder to write and then after awhile, it feels like it’s too late to write, and so you don’t, although you always know that you should have posted something. Gets?
So there, my second post in 3 days. =)
What’s wrong with the picture? Read again: World War 2 standards. The formula doesn’t factor in other capabilities that present war machines have such as stealth (as in the case of B2 bombers or germ warfare perhaps), sustainability (as in the case of nuclear submarines that can go underwater for ages without refueling) and ability to be dispatched quickly (as in the case of VTOL’s – vertical take-off and landing fighters). To cut the long story short, trampling over and firing laser beams at puny little humans is as primitive a manner of aggression as Barok smashing Cheetae with a club. Strangely, it is the humans who have (unknowingly) employed the more “advanced” tactics of galactic warfare, making use of their ultra-fantabulous, uber-powerful and super-califragilisticexpialidocious immune system. This brings me to my second point.
Second point: For a pretty advanced civilization, they surely are pretty dumb. Let’s work with the story’s premise, a remorsefully unscientific but still valid attempt to put some internal logic to the film: The aliens have been planning this for millions of years (which is stupid since if in the first encounter the aliens already had the technology to travel into space, and burrow into the earth to hide such extremely large robots which have the capacity to blast everything on their path to kingdom-come, why didn’t they try at that moment to take-over the world when all the Neanderthal had were implements made of wood and stone… actually, to be historically accurate, the Neanderthal did not exist until 60,000 years ago, and what were existing 2 miilion years ago were homonids (creatures resembling human physiology) who actually don't have an idea what a stone is, thus erasing any decipherable opposition to their diabolical plans). It’s common sense, the more you plan, the less room for error. With such level of intelligence, and such a long time, one is left to ask: Is this the best they can do?
Third point: War is a concept created by man’s greed. The underlying principle at work here is that aliens are anthropomorphic. They indulge, they desire, they conspire and they kill – the way humans do. But the fact of the matter is, they would probably not think the way we think. Physiologically, there is little chance that they’ll be humanoids (beings which have some resemblance to human form). They probably won’t even have a physical form. Many planets have gaseous compositions, and to have a physical form like ours in that environment would surely be of disadvantage to them (or they won't even be in that form in the first place because they have to evolve to something else). Thus, concepts of mobility through walking, or digestion through sucking, or slaughter through laser beams, would probably be missing in their dictionary. But for a second, let’s imagine that aliens do look like what the creators thought of them to look. On a sociological standpoint, it is still unlikely that they would be able to conquer new worlds if their civilization can breed such destructively hostile behavior. It is most likely that with the technology they have, they would have probably blown themselves altogether before they could launch a single pod into space. If that be the case, then at least, we won’t be the only species in the universe who are capable of blasting itself into smithereens.
Interestingly, the most convincing representation of alien beings in a movie that I have seen is that of another Spielberg film. No, it’s not E.T. (duh?) Contact, where Jodie Foster plays an “orphaned” (in parentheses because she had no one and nothing to believe in except herself, alone in her search of that universal truth) scientist. It was a film dedicated to Karl Sagan, one of the greatest astrophysicists of our time. He (Karl Sagan) has authored several books regarding the possibility of extraterrestrial life, religion and philosophy.
And once again, I have stretched another topic to excruciatingly boring lengths. Tsk, tsk.
For all its worth, it is as suspenseful as my friends told me it was. Technically, I was amazed with how they made that freaking camera move so mobile. Especially when the family was in the van while going down the expressway, zigzagging its (the camera as well as the van) way around cars and other obstructions. Also, I have to admit that they did try to explore the main point of the story which is human’s desire for survival (but why do they have to make it so melodramatic? and it felt artificial. hay…). thus making any scientific incongruence a secondary if not an irrelevant concern. Story-wise, the best parts for me are: 1) when Ray, Robin and Rachel are inside the diner as gunshots are fired at the man who took their van 2) when Ray chooses between Robin and Rachel as the unstoppable leviathans try to make space dust out of poor helpless humans.
But again, going back to my original point, even a great director can’t hide the many inconsistencies in the story – a perfect example of the difficulties of adapting a story from one medium to another. I don’t blame them though for trying. CGI has made magic out of movies, making possible things older filmmakers only dreamed about during their time (a special mention goes to Orson Wells who did a stunt on radio in the 1970s which caused him some time behind bars and a deal of government fines for starting a public disturbance – apparently, people thought that Orson Wells news program was true: that aliens were trying to take over the world).
Final judgment: A popcorn movie of colossal proportions. Even H.G. Wells would have been happy, if only his other novel “Time Machine” could have been as real.
***
Last day of being 21 yesterday. Ang daming nangyari sa taong ito. And I have a hunch there sre plenty of exciting things to come. I’m really getting old. Hehehe. Maraming maraming maraming salamat po dun sa mga bumati. =) really really appreciate it.
By the way, as you may have noticed, this is my second post in 3 days (and very long posts at that). Kasi, I’ve noticed that my folder for unpublished posts is starting to get bigger and bigger; ideas and feelings that get wasted in harddrive space. You know, it’s like when you mean to say things but you’re not good in writing so you postpone it. And then even when a post is really necessary you still don’t publish your thoughts because somehow, you feel you still have to post those stuff that you have postponed to post but you don’t feel like finishing them anymore. And then, if you don’t write for awhile, it gets harder to write and then after awhile, it feels like it’s too late to write, and so you don’t, although you always know that you should have posted something. Gets?
So there, my second post in 3 days. =)
5 comments:
QUOTE TONI: "For all its worth, it is as suspenseful as my friends told me it is going to be. Technically, I was amazed with how they made that freaking camera move so mobile"
SEE WHAT I MEAN?? HEHEHE SIGURO NAKANGANGA KA NUNG EKSENA NA YUN NOH!
ANG PAYO KO PO AY BARILIN NA RIN NATIN SI SPIELBERG !!!!
kuya tonitots
toni -gums
tandang toni
belated haffy bertdey
karapatan nating maging masaya...
kaya ano pang iniintay mo? ngumiti ka at taas noong ipakita ang gilagid mo!
nasa pligid lng ako, handang makipagkwntuhan hahahaha
alabshu po
rc
Sinulat ni HG Wells ang War of the Worlds before WWII, di ba? Pagbigyan mo na. Gaya ng maraming fantasy at scifi na kwento, metaphors din yung mga alien sa WOTW.
Hindi Spielberg film ang Contact, kay Robert Zemeckis yun. At di ba walang nakitang alien dun? O yun ba yung point mo?
At si Carl Sagan yun, di Karl. Nabasa mo na ba siya? Siya yung nagsabi na yung mga aliens sa gaseous planets malamang di naglalakad at talagang out of this world ang dating. Pero solid naman yung Mars, at earth-like. Malamang naglalakad din yung aliens nila, at malamang carbon-based din gaya natin.
Musta na thesis tonitots? Belated na lang ha...
hmmm...panuorin ko na nga! ;p
oist, belated happy birthday!! mag-post ka pa, natutuwa akong basahin e! hehehehehe cuz di lang sya mga rants and raves -- ang dami kong natututunan lolz!!!
and about dun sa pag popost --- hahahhaha!!! ganun din ako!!! kya gets na gets ko! hahahhahaha
rcpot: hehehe. tama ka, ang galing nga nung part na yun. unang shot palang, astig na! yung "track shot" yung camera, sweeping towards tom cruise dun sa kanyang machine. =) salamat po sa pagbati. =) karapatan nating maging masaya! =) bang bang bang! =)
anonymous: yup, war of the worlds was written in 1898. and the radio stunt by orson wells was in october 1938, about 3 years before the japanese bombed pearl harbor. yeah, they obviously are metaphors just like those in LOTR. as ive said, it shows the difficulty of adapting a fictional work from one medium to another. thanks for pointing that out. =)
yes, i stand corrected, robert zemeckis film pala siya. =) yung trilogy pala ni spielberg e yun ET, encounters with the third kind and this one, war of the worlds. =)
and yes, Karl pala, hindi Carl. =) pero i doubt pa rin if there is humanoid lifeforms on mars. kasi kung meron, we would have found them by now. =) siguro, minute, microscopic organisms pwede. =)
nice discussing this topic with you. =) sino po ikaw? =) nice comments. =) keep on posting ha! =)
chellan: tama! panuorin mo. basta wag sa sm city cinema 1. ang mahal! 121 pesos! parang nagglorietta ka na (tama ba?). hehehe. galing ko no? =) spread the word! hahahaha!! ang feeling ko. =) minsan lang naman kaya pagbigyan niyo na. =)
about dun sa posting, dapat talaga magpost nang magpost dahil hindi dapat itinatago ang mga saloobin. baka kung saan yan lumabas. =) salamat sa pagbati. =)
addendum (tama ba spelling?): yup, the point is, we didn't see any aliens in the movie (contact). and they were so advanced in the ways of the universe that they understood that they needed to take the form of something that would be of familiarity to humans(e.g. the physical form of matter, sound waves created when humans talk and the meanings that inevitably come forth from these vibrations, anything that can be understood by the limited and perhaps primitive faculties of the human mind). and yeah, did i mention they didn't come with laser beams? =)
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