cotton candy dream

currently listening to: Sunshower - Chris Cornell



There are times when all you want is for everything to end, for everything to go. Just escape to a place no one knows – not even yourself. So you leave your bags behind, wishing to let go, only to realize that you’re still carrying everything with you: every smile, every touch, every kiss. And yes, every single tear. You wish it could be clearer, easier, simpler. But peace never reveals itself, especially to someone who doesn't want to forget. And you look at the road in front of you, not knowing where it goes, or how it ends. And you resign to the truth that nothing ever stops; that nothing ever really ends. And then you learn that moving on is nothing but a faithless leap. So you disappear, without a trace, without saying goodbye.

It’s early morning and we still can't see the sun. Maybe, it’s still on the other side of the horizon, where all lost lovers are.

mamang pulis

for 5 months now, my mom's been going to police school as required by her promotion. she's been going through training both in the classroom and on the field. and last monday, for their practical exam, they had an operation at some place in the province (the location i cannot divulge). if going to school everyday isn't hard enough for a person who's never been a fan of books and test papers, imagine doing a 60 kilometer trek, carrying a 60 pound pack, running and hiking on a pair of rheumatic legs, crawling and docking from bullets in ambush simulations, and having the sun blaze on top of you for 2 days! And she's 53!


anita daso reporting for duty, sir!


briefing at 4 am the following day.


goofing around with friends. (sir, not listening, o!)


10 kilometers down. 50 loooooong kilometers to go!


operation: pahinga muna. =)


one of the boys. macho mo ma! =)


moving along...


guess where this is. (hint: it's the mountain in the previous picture)


time space warp. after 2 days, 60++ kms. and 100,000 liters of gatorade. nice pj's by the way. =)


boodlefight! sort of...


happy happy! =)

But one thing about my mother, she's a strong woman. But it's not physical strength that makes her a cut above the rest (although i have to admit that for a woman she does have a strong pair of arms. and legs. and back. and everything.) what i really admire is her attitude and faith that keeps her going. she's been through a lot in her life, and to tell it would nothing be less than making a novel out of the cinderella story - minus the fairy god mother, of course.

My mother never gives up. And thank god she hasn't or else, i wouldn't be here writing this post. Again, the detail deserves a separate post in itself. But just to give you an idea, imagine having to put up with me for more than 22 years (and counting). Period. Wouldn't that be a nightmare! And to think I'm just half of the story.

A life of missed opportunities, broken dreams and bitter disappointments. But still she went on, thanked the Lord and smiled at the world. And because of that, she's my superwoman.

On monday (February 20), she's going on stage for her graduation. If only she knew how proud I am of her. Congratulations Mama. I love you po.

by the way...

currently listening to: brighter than sunshine - aqualung

...did i mention, graduate na ako? yipee!!! =)

awww... (ma, di ako makahinga...)

sa wakas, natapos din! =)

(mama: nakakangawit ngumiti...) (toni: ano kaya handa?)

commdept pips! (oo na, ako na ang pinakamatanda! hmph!) =)

meet my cat rover! (meow!) =)

mama and my pamangkin lila. =)

more of mama and my pamangkins =)

the daso family! =)

not part of the graduation pics. hahaha! =)

come around

currently listening to: Rhett Miller - Come Around

The door opens in front of her. And there he stands outside, waiting.

WOMAN: You’re here.

MAN: Yes, I am.

WOMAN: Why?

MAN: Because you called.

WOMAN: You’re mistaken.

MAN: Maybe I am.

WOMAN: Then you should go.

MAN: I will. After I know the reason why you called.

WOMAN: How do you know it was me?

MAN: Because you’ve done this before.

WOMAN: Done what?

MAN: Call without saying a word.

WOMAN: Would you have listened?

MAN: I don’t know.

WOMAN: So you come here.

MAN: To listen.

WOMAN: And yet, you still do not understand.

MAN: I understand that you called for a reason.

WOMAN: Did you answer when it rang?

MAN: I should’ve.

WOMAN: Why didn’t you?

MAN: Because I knew it was you.

WOMAN: It wasn’t me.

MAN: Who was it then?

WOMAN: You would have known if you only picked up the phone.

MAN: I'd pick it up. But you'd always keep silent.

WOMAN: She didn’t want to talk to you?

MAN: You'd only listen to my voice. And then hang up.

WOMAN: She wanted for you to be the one to call.

MAN: And you wanted me to come.

WOMAN: To go to her.

MAN: To wait outside your door.

WOMAN: She called to see if you cared.

Silence only between them.

Footsteps nearby break the stillness.

Someone emerges from the room.

She was not alone.

MAN: I understand.

WOMAN: Don’t pretend that you do.

MAN: I understand that many things were left unsaid.

WOMAN: And you wait for the things I will never say.

MAN: And I leave now without hearing you say it.

But it is she who turns to leave.

MAN: Why did you call?

WOMAN: Because I was waiting.

MAN: For me to call.

WOMAN: And I waited.

MAN: For me to come.

WOMAN: But you never came.

MAN: Not until now.

WOMAN: I called to say goodbye.

The door closes behind her. And he stands outside, waiting.

steady lang

currently listening to: Reaching Out – Lea Salonga

Steady-lang is for the weak.

I didn’t know what this idea meant until last night. Salamat jackiepot for explaining this philosophy to me. :)

Steady lang means no expectations, go with the flow, live with what you have. Steady lang means you should enjoy the rollercoaster ride. Horace said it best with his Carpe Diem, although I doubt it if the Greek guy would ever really go to a theme park, with all the sweet candies, bright balloons and happy people.

Steady lang means you should live in the moment. You live, you learn. You cry, you learn. You die, you learn. The song is old. But then again, I am old. And the only thing I learned is that you never really learn. The truth is, you learn nothing.

Steady lang means you can ask so much, when you only need to do is give so little. If life gives you what you ask for, then be thankful. If it doesn’t, you shouldn’t be surprised; you didn’t deserve anything in the first place.

Steady lang means you can always push your luck. And at the end, all you need to say is sorry. Sorry for everything, thanks for everything. It’s that simple. It’s not fair, I know. But life never is.

Steady lang means you need not think about life. The world is too complicated to be taken seriously. Answers to questions only lead to either confusion or bitterness. A yes is never a yes. And a no is always a no.

Steady lang never looks forward, since the future hasn’t happened yet. And besides, it never really goes the way you want it, so why bother? Steady lang never looks back either. The past is gone. Deal with it. Get over it. Forget it.

Steady lang means you should never care. Because caring necessitates a surrender. And fortune always makes a clown of the loser.

Steady lang teaches us that attachment is not love, silence is not peace and a smile never means happiness.

Steady lang works for a lot of people. I hated them then. I understand them now. But I should make it clear that I do not suggest Steady lang for everyone. Steady lang is only for the coward, the irresponsible, the selfish. Steady lang is for the libertine.

I am a coward. I am irresponsible. I am selfish. I’ve been hurt so many times, in so many ways. Now that I know what Steady lang means, I will never be hurt again.

Steady lang is for the weak. Because we never pretend that we are strong. We are honest of our frailties and we accept how dreadful the world really is. Because of that, we are free.

intentions

currently listening to: Baby I Love Your Way (Rockstar: INXS version) – Mig Ayeza feat. Marty Casey, Jordis Unga

My point is… well, the truth is, no one gives a damn what my point is.

I don’t know if it’s just a phase (when all you feel is being alone in that dark place inside your head) or it’s simply a concrete example of the postmodernist dilemma (of individuals losing their voices in the multitude) but I just sense that nobody understands me. Yeah, yeah, it’s a tad melodramatic I know. But it’s the truth. I have been reflecting for some time now about my last post. And I told a friend that I’m a bit disappointed that only a handful really got the idea behind it. As I told my friend, “most of the people only see the comedy, and none of the sarcasm.” I would like to make it clear that it’s entirely MY FAULT and not of my visitors that they didn’t see the satirical aspect of the script. It’s my fault as the writer (note: “as THE writer” and not “as A writer”) that I wasn’t able to communicate my intentions clearly. It undoubtedly shows my inadequacy in skill to use words to translate thought into actions and pictures, to tell people what I really want to say to them, to make them understand what I have in mind. What is it really about you ask? The idea was to make a commentary about controlled environments and how certain control mechanisms become entertaining and horrifying at the same time. (And sometimes, incredibly ridiculous.) I know what you’re saying… “aaaaahhh… yun ba yun?”. Just like what I’ve said, not a tinge of talent for communication, I don’t have, yes? (Huh?)

I didn’t want to make such a big deal about it really. But the fear of the thesis defense which is fast approaching, just keeps on gnawing at me. What if they don’t understand what I want to say? What if they don’t like it? What if they only see the text and context and none of the subtext? What if I froze in front of the panel? What if? What if? What if? And sir hasn’t been much of a help either. It’s not that he’s not doing his job as a mentor. It’s just that he’s been really cryptic about things that I barely have an idea if I did my thesis right or not. Last time, he said, “You did it naman di ba? Well then, defend it.” Ummm... anu po ibig sabihin nun? Tapos, Il asked him, “sir, may comments po ba kayo?” And then he said, “Basta makagraduate ka na.” ??????? I’m not even sure if his reply was a question or an answer. Tapos, I asked him again, “ummm, sir… pangit po ba o maganda?” And he went, “it’s not important kung panget o maganda.” I tell you, with sir, you have to believe in your work or else the panel’s going to eat you alive. Di mo naman pwedeng sabihin na, "e kasi po... sabi ni sir..." It’s not the job of mentors to tell you what you should or should not do. Their work is to make you think for yourself. Kung sa real world nga naman, you only have yourself to be the judge of your work. I have nothing against him. The truth is, he’s been extremely patient with me. Hay… The only thing I’m banking on right now is the fact that when he asked me, “Kapag may tinanong ba ako tungkol sa thesis mo, masasagot mo ba?”, I answered, “Yes sir.” Sana, sana, sana. Basta, the key word is LEITMOTIF.

Everyone just wants me to graduate. What I want is to prove myself. Yun yung mahalaga. Yung diploma, makakapagpagawa ako nun sa Recto. Pero yung fulfillment na di napunta sa wala yung oras na ginugol mo sa college, walang makapapalit dun. And besides, I want to teach at the department. I have to prove myself worthy of such company. But then again, I can't even construct one decent sentence. Hay… mga pangarap.

Oh well. I hope that at least in this post, I made people understand what I wanted to say. Or not. Ewan!

P.S. I’m currently accepting donations for bond papers and computer ink cartridges. Wish me luck people. And thanks sa walang katapusang morale support. Salamat, salamat, salamat.

scripted

currently listening to: Damien Rice - Cannonball

Ang sumusunod ay pawang kathang-isip lamang. Ang patnubay ng magulang ay kailangan. =)

INT. CLASSROOM, DAY

A classroom discussion. Students sitting in attention, perfect posture. A teacher paces back and forth in front, a teaching stick in hand. She speaks with machine gun ra-ta-tat quickness.

Teacher
The Hawthorne effect refers to improvements in productivity or quality which result not so much because of intended changes to working conditions, but mainly because the workers are aware of extra attention being paid to them.

She pauses, as if mechanically, walk and talk coming to a sudden halt. She checks, in the corner of her eye, nothing. Everything is A-ok. She resumes.

Teacher
An experimental effect in the direction expected but not for the reason expected; i.e. a significant positive effect that turns out to have no causal basis in the theoretical motivation for the intervention, but is apparently due to the effect on the participants of knowing themselves to be studied in connection with the outcomes meyshurd.

She stops. The class is silenced. What did she say? Did she just say “meyshurd”? OMG, she has mispronounced a word!

Teacher
I meant “in connection with the outcomes MEASURED."

We ANGLE on a student. She’s wary of something. But she’s more than wary, she’s terrified! ANGLE ON another student, a guy, perspiration beading on his forehead. ANOTHER STUDENT, petrified. ANOTHER, horrified. ANOTHER, horror-struck. The whole class is expecting a lightning from heaven to strike their poor Ms. Manners dead for her sin.

The teacher too is fearful for her safety, although she is better than her students in hiding her terror.

No sound. The clock ticks. Still no sound. Another tick. Still nothing. The pressure builds with every second that passes. You could drop a needle and it would sound as loud as thunder. But nothing.

A sigh of relief. No one is struck by lightning. The class resumes.

FROM THE AISLE, we see the class continue. As we PULL OUT, the students who are listening attentively turns to the camera following it with strange eyes. The teacher drones resuming, not minding whatever it is that caught her students’ attention.

Teacher
Clearly the variables the experimenters manipulated were...

INT. HALLWAY, DAY

At a deserted hallway, two guys are arguing about something. The emotions are intense... telenovela intense.

Guy 1
Tang-ina (bleep) mo pare! Di ba sinabi ko na layuan mo na si Vanessa?!

Guy 2
E kung di ka ba naman tarantado (bleep), bakit ko lalayuan si Vanessa? Break na kayo! Ayaw na nga niya sa’yo! Mahirap bang intindihin ‘yon?!

Tension building as they argue. But the weird thing is, when they say the unprintable, their mouths move to say it but the sound that comes out is that familiar *bleep* sound we hear on TV.

Guy 1
Ah basta! Layuan mo si Vanessa! Akin si Vanessa! AKIN!!!

Guy 2
At sino ka para pagbawalan akong manligaw?! Ha, sino ka?! Tarantado (the sound that comes out is a bleep) ka kasi kaya ka niya brineyk! Ang tanga (bleep) mo!

Guy 1 couldn’t take it anymore. He grabs Guy 2 by the collar, his other arm snaps up and WHACK!, the nose of Guy 2 explodes, blood erupting. Guy 2 falls to the floor with a thud. Guy 2 recovers but doesn’t stand up.

He looks at Guy 1 standing over him with rage. All the fury in the world building up inside him. ARGH!!! I WILL GET YOU!!!, he thinks. But then, he notices the camera. He grins, the blood dripping and all.

INT. STAIRS, SPS BUILDING, DAY

A couple hiding in the intimate silence. He kisses her, pressing into her, his arms circling her waist.

GUY 3
I love you.

GIRL 1
I love you.

Their lips are to meet again, sweetly, tenderly... But then again...

Man (O.S.)
Pssthoy!

Mang Jack emerges from the corner. He sees what is happening. He’s furious.

Mang Jack
Anung ginagawa ninyo ha?! Bawal yan!

Before apprehending the lovebirds, he notices us. He smiles into the camera.

VARIOUS SHOTS

A security guard, seated on a bench, is sleeping on duty. The bevy of students and teachers mill(s?) about around him. He snores.

A freshly printed paper leafs out of the photocopying machine. Another paper. And another. The Filtrex girl stares retardedly at the paper being spewed by the photocopying machine.

A spoon scoops some vile concoction from a bowl. The guy looks at his food revolted, letting it drip back to his plate.

A janitor daydreams in a corner. He holds his mop as if it is the girl of his dreams.

A girl plays Text Twist on the computer, bored. A guy comes in, handing her his id. She perfunctorily receives it and hands the guy a number. She goes back to her game.

A FINGER presses a button. We do not know to whom the fingers are attached.

A MUSICAL DING blares out from the P.A. speakers. It is the proverbial musical tone of the DLSU bell. Yes, it is meant to tell that it’s time. But time for what?

The security guard is interrupted in mid-sleep. He shakes the cobwebs in his head. Then a couple of students pass him by. The security guard and the students smile in agreement: It’s time!

The Filtrex girl snaps out of her trance. She looks into the distance. Great! It’s time!

The guy at the canteen is overjoyed, relieved that he doesn’t need to eat anymore of this garbage. He looks to the direction of the music. Great! It’s time!

The janitor kisses his mop. Stands up, does a pirouette and runs to the direction of the sound. Great! It’s time!

The girl at the computer lab eyes the last guy he handed a number to. He looks at her with a smile – he too knows it’s time. They run out holding each other’s hands. The other students storm out of the room following them.

The MUSICAL DING reverberates around the campus. It’s the time!

But then, the music SQUEAKS INTO A HALT, as if an old record player has just died on us. The speakers become SILENT. Then...

We hear the first few beats of a familiar track.

EXT. YUCHENGCO GROUNFLOOR, DAY

A throng of people has assembled in the open area under the bright sun, their hands in the air, dancing...

MUSIC
Lahat tayo mayroon pagkakaiba sa tingin pa lang ay makikita na
Iba’t ibang kagustuhan ngunit iisang patutunguhan
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap mo
Magbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga

The whole cast dances in PRODUCTION NUMBER STYLE, FOLLOWING TV CHOREOGRAPHY... All of them are there: the teacher discussing Hawthorne Effect, with her are all of her students, the couple in the stairs (still managing to kiss while dancing), beside them is the new couple from the computer lab, Mang Jack has his eyes on the student couples, the security guard and the Filtrex girl are also getting into the lovey-dubby mood, the janitor is dancing with his mop, the fighting couple (Guy 1 has a cotton ball stuck to his nostrils) has become a threesome with the addition of the guy from the canteen. The only two that don’t have partners yet are Mang Jack and the Hawthorne teacher. Students from the Hawthorne class push their teacher to Mang Jack who on the other hand is also being pushed by the students from the computer lab.

MUSIC AND CAST (cont’d)
Pinoy ikaw ay pinoy
Ipakita sa mundo
Kung ano ang kaya mo
Ibang-iba ang pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo pinoy ako
Pinoy tayo

THE WHOLE CAST DANCE IN UNISON. Their hands, feet, head, shoulders, body movement. SMILING FACES all over the place. A good time.

INT. ROOM – SAME TIME

ANGLE: Now there are two sets of mysterious fingers. They tap in beat to the music. We see the cast from a TV screen. The mystery couple watch(es?) every move intently.

MUSIC AND CAST (cont’d)
Talagang ganyan ang buhay
Dapat ka nang masanay
Wala rin mangyayari
Kung laging nakikibagay
Ipakilala ang iyong sarili
Ano man sa iyo ay mangyayari
Ang lagi mong iisipin
Kayang kayang gawin

EXT. YUCHENGCO GORUNDFLOOR, DAY

ROLL END CREDITS OVER Visuals.

“La Salle Closed Circuit TV. Ang teleserye ng buhay Lasallista.”

MUSIC AND CAST (cont’d)
Pinoy ikaw ay pinoy
Ipakita sa mundo
Kung ano ang kaya mo
Ibang-iba ang pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo pinoy ako
Pinoy tayo

A final pose from the cast, forming the all known sunburst.

FADE TO BLACK.

CUT TO:

INT. VIDEO ROOM, DAY – SAME TIME

A woman and a man, their backs turned to us, have just finished watching the production number. It’s a small room, wired with TV screens. We see the cast from different perspectives from the monitors. The music coming from the speakers fade out.

CLOSE ON the man’s mouth.

BIG BROTHER (on the microphone)
Thank you “housemates”. You can now go back to your regular tasks.

ON THE MONITORS, we see the group breakout as if nothing has happened, as if they didn’t know each other again – 15 seconds of fame turned to 15 seconds of reinforced behavior. Hands are unclasped, people head towards different directions, smiles turn to either bored faces or worried ones. The show is over.

The woman and the man turn around to face the camera. Dr. Q and Big Brother Armin smile at us.

---

Ilang mga paalala sa mga di madalas makabasa ng script. Ang INT ay Interior, ang EXT ay EXTERIOR, ang mga salitang naka-uppercase ay mga screen directions or camera movements (mga emphasis cues). Para sa mga katanungan, suhestiyon at mga komento, ipagbigay-alam lang ang mga ito sa may akda. =)

brain fart

currently listening to: Bad Day - Daniel Powter

It’s official. My mom’s back in school. Hay… sana naman ay sabay kami magkagraduate sa December. By the way, it’s not her I’m worried about. I’m sure she’ll do just fine. Ah basta, you know what I mean.

---

I don’t know if you read my blog or not. But let me tell you this, maybe, it’s not that no one hears your scream, it’s just that no one can understand what you’re saying. I didn’t tell you this on the text, but I really got pissed off at you last time. If you haven’t erased my message, read it again and replace the periods with exclamation marks. Because that’s the way I typed it the first time. Pero sorry na rin. I realized din later that the song was uncalled for. But that does not take away the fact that I was trying to do a good thing. The least that you can do is be thankful. I hope na kung ano man yung tampuhan ninyo ay maayos niyo na. See, with the way I’m saying it now, it’s obvious that I barely have an idea what’s going on with the rest of you. Pero I’ll stand by what I said, tama na ang drama! ingat ka po lagi.

---



I really really really love this series. The plot is not artificial, the dialogue is well thought of and the treatment of the theme is great. Share lang. =)

Again, every Tuesdays, after Smallville. Haha, plugging. =)

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Just saw the news. Magnitude 7. I pray it doesn’t happen. =( Please take care everyone. =(

game 2

currently listening to: James Blunt - You're Beautiful

i'm trying to shake it off. but i can't.

=(

The FEU Tamaraws beat the DLSU Archers, 73-71, to claim the Men's Senior Basketball crown at the UAAP 68th Season.

you know you need to get a life when...

(added sept 22, 2005) you start getting excited to open your yahoo email -- because it sounds so happy to see you: "WELCOME TONI! you have 354 unread mails." and it greets you by name too, every single time! (glad to see you too, dear yahoo! wow, i made a rhymie! =)

your idea of a conversation is making a blog post and waiting for someone to actually comment on it. (obvious ba na I’m fishing for comments?)

your idea of a real conversation (meaning with a real living person) is standing in front of a mirror and exchanging pleasantries with the person who looks ridiculously just like you. (hey! I like your shirt! You know, I have a shirt just like… hey, wait a minute!)

your idea of a bad day is getting irritated by the person on the other side of the mirror because he keeps on doing exactly what you are doing. (are you some sort of a wacko? stop that! and don’t talk when i’m still speaking! ‘y I ought’ta! )

your idea of cheap thrill is holding out your finger just above the water of your aquarium hoping that a hungry gold fish would indulge you, play along and actually try to bite your finger off. (here boy! here boy!)

your idea of a workout is intentionally doing laundry by hand even when there’s a perfectly working washing machine that can do all the work for you. (I never thought washing jeans could be this healthful.)

your idea of life is what you see in reality tv, where a person can date 10 people at the same time and end up as a millionaire, where you get the best advise about being a guy from guys who like guys, where makeovers are free (and suddenly, you’re a celebrity), and where matters of survival like gathering food come in thematically prepared challenges.

your idea of a lucky day is spotting her among a crowd of thousands, people all wearing green and white, and seeing her with that proverbial smile of hers. (ooh! ooh! there she is again! there’s ate ria and Jackie too! Animo La Salle!)

you ever do get out of the house and go to school, 93% of the people you meet call you kuya, 5% ask you, “what are you doing in school mr. cuesta? Taking up a masters degree I presume”, 1.5% don’t want to see you at all, and .5% say “haha, ikaw rin. Ang tagal na natin sa skul toni!”

you try to have fun by over-exaggerating (over na, exaggerated pa) your current situation and hope that people would find it funny even though you yourself think it’s pathetic.

ayun lang

Sept. 15, 2005

So, that’s how she looks like on TV. Ganda. I think she looks better in person though.

Look, shudder and gasp.

Go La Salle pala! =)

Sept. 14, 2005

I so damn need to get my hands on a/n SLR!!! GRRRR!!! Three contests to join!!! Have to win! Kaya natin ‘to joey!

---

Just started a deviantart account. Now, if I can only find things to upload. Hahaha. Thanks mics. =)

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I’m going to finish this thesis for my mom. I’m going to do this because I have to move on with my life. I’m going to do this because there are people who still believe that I can. (thanks cy. thanks ate ria. thanks jackie.)

Sept. 13, 2005

Ha! I never thought I could run that fast! Hay. I guess this means I can never walk in school the same way again. Hay.

---

So that’s how a mall looks like. Tagal ko nang di lumalabas ng bahay. Hahaha. Parang God must me crazy. Pinoy version. =)

---

Yellow and brown. Pwde palang combination yun? Haha.

Sept 12, 2005

I really hate that commercial. Please make it stop! Sheeesh…

---

got this from an article about Joseph Rosmon Tuazon from the PDI (Sept. 11, Sunday Inquirer Magazine, From Comic Book Dreams to Poetry Prizes by Eric S. Caruncho). He won the first prize for Poetry in Filipino at the 55th Palanca Awards.

“The collection explores the idea of ‘poem’ as the constant failure to recover, recognize, remember,” he (Tuazon) continues. “The failure to articulate is the inability to save oneself. The poet is the self-appointed tally keeper and assessor between these ‘calamities,’ a task that can’t even be entrusted to him since history and the inevitable are both true and made up in his hands. This he does to stay sane, perhaps, and safe, while caught in the deadlock of recall and anticipation. The poet could but rely on intuition, cross the path between hesitation and salvation. The poem is a reconstruction of memory and chance, and at times even the poet fails to see its purpose: his. He chooses the manner of his loss.”

Quite a mouthful. But a very interesting read.

Sept. 11, 2005

Oh my. I just found out that my mother wants to work for an NGO after retirement. It’s a good “oh my” by the way. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I’m proud of my mom.

---

I told my friend that I’m pretty lost right now. I still consider myself a perfectionist (on the things I like at least). And when failures keep on compounding, it’s only natural for one to feel down and maybe, at times, to have doubts on one’s self. But this afternoon is one of those rare moments when the planets are in position, the stars are aligned and the universe is in harmony -- and you just know exactly what you really want in life. I don’t believe in those things by the way—I just like to say them because they sound so dramatic. =)

And so: I want to have my own restaurant someday. Something between fun and fancy. A place where I can invite my friends to hang out. A cross between a bookstore, an art gallery and a fine dine place. =)

Also: I want to teach at the communication department. I feel I have so much to share to young people. To urge them to think for themselves. To inspire them to do something creative. Now, I just have to prove to the department that I CAN.

Yun lang, bow. =)

Sept. 10, 2005

Happy birthday Mamang Pulis! =) (thanks pala for making up the term. *wink*)

I love you Ma.

---

Wee, I won! =) After having a hearty meal, Mama and I went to National Bookstore to buy some cardboards. (we were supposed to see a movie but because of that wonderful film review by JJ about Red Eye, we decided just to go shopping. and grocery-ing. =)

Anyways, as I was/were (?) saying. We were at the NBS buying cardboards for my mom. She’s the chief Police Community Relations officer at the Central Police District Command, by the way, and she needs the cardcoards for a seminar they’re holding next Saturday. When we were about to leave the cashier, the saleslady/bagger told us to go to a booth. She said that the Star Paper have this promo and we bought enough (we bought 50 packs of 10s – 50 packs!) to qualify for a game!

You have to run a wire around loops of bare wire without touching it (it’s Buzzer Game for the Neopet people). My mom tried it first. She was pasmado so she didn’t get very far. So I said I’ll do it for her. And so I did. First station, as easy as 1-2-3. Second station, a little tension on the wrist but got through it just as well. Now, the third station is not that easy: three consecutive loops similar to that of a crazy roller coaster ride. Now the heart beats faster, the shoulders stiffen, the palms moisten. Deep breath, and out the third loop. Whew. The final challenge: a loop, a straight path, 2 consecutive loops and a spiral. Now, you don’t just have to turn the wrist but turn the whole body as well. Exag no? I feel all the blood in my body has found their way to my head and for no apparent reason decided to stay there. My heart’s up my throat too, sweat beading on my temple. I stopped breathing. No buzz.

“Galing nyo po sir” says the saleslady. Huh? Eeek! I won! Wee! She hands me a piece of paper with the instructions how to claim my price. Then I look at Mama. She’s smiling at me. You know naman mothers, even the smallest and most nonsensical thing in the world is a big thing for them as long as it was done by their child. So I said, “ma, akin na cel mo.” “Bakit,” she asked. “Basta!” I replied. Then I texted the number written on the piece of paper. 2 days later, she got the prize. =)

Ayun. =)

Sept 9, 2005

Tapos na =(



Great ending. Nothing mushy. Just right. Sounds like cooking pasta. Hahaha.

Pero ok lang. Meron namang... *drum roll*



Just started. Every week, Tuesdays, after Smallville. =)

---

Merlin, sorry di ako nakapunta sa party mo! =(

---

So, that’s how a sunset at Manila Bay looks like. Hmmm. Nothing really special. Ha!

---

How can i write about another person’s story when all i have is a vague idea what life is. Hay.



***


naipong ramblings over. =)

afterthoughts

Sept. 3, 2005
(advance) happy birthday blog. one year na pala. makes you wonder how different things might have been.

***
Aug. 23, 2005
He had been staring at the damn thing for 2 hours. How hard can it be, he had been asking himself incessantly, just pick up the phone and dial her number, it’s not that complicated, is it?

***
Aug. 27, 2005
I don’t want it to be like this. I want it to be like… like… the truth is, I don’t know what I want anymore. All I have is this vague picture in my head, something great, something grand, something that I dream about endlessly – something perfect. It is something I want to write, but couldn’t. I always fall short. Always. Maybe, Sir was right, it’s just all blahblahblah.

***
Sept. 1, 2005
Opus Dei and MLM’s have something in common, they force you to do things that you would otherwise not do by making you believe that what they offer you is all there is to the world. Was I really that naïve?

***
Aug 29, 2005
currently listening to: The Company.

***
Aug. 15, 2005
If he had just been sensitive, nothing of this would have happened. During times of great anxiety, he has always displayed a keen sense of knowing what the other person was thinking, what the other person felt and what the other person wanted. But this time, it is different. Being sensitive always requires someone to be presumptuous, and an assumption is the last thing he needed now. He remembers that it was exactly his misreading her actions which led to this stand-off. And so he decides: he shall wait.

***
Sept 2, 2005
he was told that his being evasive is where his problem lies. but the truth is, he was just trying to be self-effacing. he always believed that he never had the audacity of a journalist and certainly none of the adroitness of a poet. telling a story required both. without the first, one becomes abstruse and ambiguous, without the second, one becomes rude and tasteless. so what does lack of both make him? he didn’t know either. what he believed though is that he was tactful, the same neutrality of character as someone who writes essays. he calls it “defined vagueness”, when one works with the intention of calling attention to himself but without showing his face or at the most, revealing only a glimpse of it. come to think of it, it was not skill in words or in thought that was lacking in him, rather, it was confidence.

senti

Tears fall easier when it rains. As I have proven once again this afternoon. Despite my very tight schedule (and I mean crazy tight), I, for some stupid reason, was still able to make time for some recreational watching this afternoon. I'm so pressed for time that even while I’m typing this sentence right now, I am wondering what in God’s name am I doing posting a blog at this time when I only have less than a month to finish my thesis?

Perhaps only a handful of people would have an idea what The Classic is, but it is one of the many non-American films that I really love. I have seen it lots of times, but amusingly, each time is always like the first time. I laugh, cry and say “awww” at the same old scenes I have already seen for about a dozen times. Take into consideration that my copy isn’t quite as good as I would want it to be. It’s a VCD copy I ripped into my computer so the sound and picture aren’t that as clear as when you watch it in a real VCD player. And of course, it’s nothing compared to the clarity of a DVD copy. Also, my copy has that annoying Mandarin Chinese voiceover that tries to translate even the parts where the characters are crying. Panira talaga ng moment, I tell you! Grrr! Nevertheless, I still love the movie – and for many reasons. And the experience of watching it (or any senti movie for that matter) wouldn’t be as wonderful as when you watch it while the weather is cold and you have a nice cup of joe with you. *Sarap!* =)

That is why I love the rain. You can just let it all out. Kung gusto mo umiyak, ibuhos mo lang ang iyong luha kasabay ng pagtangis ng langit. Kung gusto mo tumawa, sabayan mo lang ang masayang ingay ng mga patak ng ulan. At kung sesuwertehin, malay mo, may isang taong makarinig sa iyo at maisipan kang damayan. *cue Nescafe commercial*

My original title for this post was “Out of Focus, Out of Sync”. Out of focus, meaning I can’t concentrate, which is something that isn’t new to me, and is proven by my recent impulse to blog when I’m severely crunched for time. Also, I’m seriously beginning to have doubts whether one can really make a movie out of the script I’m writing. Out of sync (a term I got from russ’ post, thanks again russ) because my body clock has totally gone haywire. I worked last night from 7:00 until 10:30 this morning nonstop, had breakfast at 11, slept at 11:30 and woke up at 5:30 in the afternoon to have lunch. I wonder what time I will be having my dinner. Even when I was lying on my bed this morning, I was wondering if I really still do need to sleep, or whether it would be better if I just do away with it and sleep early tonight. Apparently, my eyelids got the better of me. Out of focus and out of sync also applies to my current disposition in the greater scheme of things. I have a lot of things on my mind but I can’t seem to straighten them up in my head. Oh well, the universe can go on very well without me. As the great smelly Pumbaa would say, Hakunah Mutata!

Anyways, there goes my internet break. I need to go back to work now or else, at the end of the term, I would again be crying. And it wouldn’t be because of the rain. By the way, a little trivia to go along with this post, did you know that the war sequence in The Classic was shot in the Philippines? Some of the things you learn when you actually read the credits up to the end. =)

quick post

very busy busy. 30 days before deadline of thesis. very busy busy. but my friend russ was kind enough to let me borrow some of her words. thanks russ. =) so for toni's post for tonight, please click on this link and go to russ' posts for july 7 and july 15 (in that order). 'til the next post. =) thesis thesis thesis. =)

over the moon... almost...

had a really wonderful day! except maybe for that unwelcome phone call which woke me up early this morning, the day was fantabulously splendid (please excuse the cheesy superlatives). in the morning, my mother and i jump-start our day with the usual sunday morning mass, the usual meeting with the Big Boss. then we go to cainta to have a small salu-salo at the house of my cousins for a post birthday kainan. grilled liempo, chicken barbecue, inihaw na bangus at sinigang na hipon. sarap! =) then kwentuhan with the family while we have dessert -- a very very long dessert that stretches up to merienda. then, the thing i was waiting for: red horse beer. it's about time i get some alcohol into my system! =) then UAAP. am i drunk or is that score really 50 Lasalle, 20 Ateneo? (hehe, evol laugh)
>:)

yun lang. antok na ako. and i can hear bells ringing (too much alcohol i think. yun bang parang namimintig na yung tenga mo. hehe.)

***

btw, i have turned apolitical for the moment. there's just too much noise but no one's really saying anything worth listening to. the issues will die eventually of natural death for the very reason that there ISN'T really an issue -- just a monotony of senseless bickering. let her stay and follow the due process of impeachment. tapos ang usapan di ba? and also, asking for someone to voluntarily resign is just plain stupid. that wouldn't be voluntary if you force someone out of office, would it?

yun lang ulit. pagod na ako sa gobyerno. pati yung mga nagtatrabaho ng matino nadadamay.

while i was thinking...

currently listening to: Dido - Do You Have A Little Time

... about my story, an image of a crow came into mind. then i remembered a phrase Malate has been using to name their yearly poetry event: reinkarnasyon ng salita. and thus...

reinkarnasyon ng salita - mixed media / photoshop 7.0

last days

currently listening to: Dido - Sand In My Shoes

Libre ni Sir Oliver kanina. Last day ko na kasi sa STAGES. Para bang Last Supper at bukas ay ipapako na ako. Well, mapapako ulit sa Thesis. =) The truth is, it’s not really my last day. I’ll still be working with Sir for Art Petron, Footloose, Once on This Island rerun and some marketing stuff for Trumpets. Tomorrow, we’ll be at Red Crab Greenbelt for the blockbuyers’ orientation (can’t wait to see Ate Ria!). Also, Sir Oli says I’d still be his priority writer if he needs some press releases and feature articles done. When I asked if STAGES had a replacement already in mind, Sir Oliver said they will try as long as they can not to have me replaced yet. There were days when Sir Oli would say, “Ikaw kasi, di mo pa kasi tapusin yang thesis na yan!” (That’s why they can’t hire me to be permanent) Strangely, it seems they liked my work. Hehe. Salamat naman. I hate disappointing people kasi e. As Ms.Tess said, “You’re always welcome to come back after you’ve finished your thesis.” =)

***

It’s basic film theory: A film is a suspension of disbelief. But I guess I was counting sheeps when that particular subject was being discussed in class. Imagine Spielberg’s E.T.s on drugs, driving monstrous 90-foot mechanized tripeds, emerging from sky, water and land to make spaghetti sauce out of human beings! And don’t forget the all-enduring protagonist who effortlessly escapes harm’s way trying to get to Boston and manages to destroy one of those giant contraptions using 2 grenades (which conveniently appeared out of nowhere) when an entire team of air and ground forces couldn’t even scratch the damn things. And what’s with that van of theirs? – the one which happened to survive an EMP shockwave, an airplane crash right next to it, a crash into an electrical post, an attack of a desperately insane mob and still run God-knows-how-far-a-distance on a single tank of fuel.

Yes, I’m talking about that oversized road-trip movie War of the Worlds. Heavy-handed, artificial, and ridiculously unbelievable, War of the Worlds is everything you’d expect a Hollywood sci-fi film to be. My mother never was a film person, except perhaps when you ask her about the tandem of Guy and Pip or the loveteam of Nestor De Villa and Nida Blanca and maybe some memories about Rogelio Dela Rosa and Rosa Rosal. But when we were watching the movie and I was calmly taking mental notes on what I was going to blog later that night, quietly, she was the first to react, “bida nga.” Aside from those I have already mentioned above, the list of irrefutably improbable and preposterously impossible occurrences in the movie goes on and on and on. But above all these inconsistencies, the most glaring fault of this movie is the way they have presented extraterrestrial beings – ironically, the manner to which these aliens have waged their war is so characteristically and unmistakably human: devious, unsophisticated, and recklessly stupid.

First point: They rely entirely on brawn. Using World War 2 standards, there is a basic formula to which one can gauge the effectiveness of a war machine:

E = f (p,s,a) ; where Effectiveness in warfare is the function of firepower, speed and armor.

What’s wrong with the picture? Read again: World War 2 standards. The formula doesn’t factor in other capabilities that present war machines have such as stealth (as in the case of B2 bombers or germ warfare perhaps), sustainability (as in the case of nuclear submarines that can go underwater for ages without refueling) and ability to be dispatched quickly (as in the case of VTOL’s – vertical take-off and landing fighters). To cut the long story short, trampling over and firing laser beams at puny little humans is as primitive a manner of aggression as Barok smashing Cheetae with a club. Strangely, it is the humans who have (unknowingly) employed the more “advanced” tactics of galactic warfare, making use of their ultra-fantabulous, uber-powerful and super-califragilisticexpialidocious immune system. This brings me to my second point.

Second point: For a pretty advanced civilization, they surely are pretty dumb. Let’s work with the story’s premise, a remorsefully unscientific but still valid attempt to put some internal logic to the film: The aliens have been planning this for millions of years (which is stupid since if in the first encounter the aliens already had the technology to travel into space, and burrow into the earth to hide such extremely large robots which have the capacity to blast everything on their path to kingdom-come, why didn’t they try at that moment to take-over the world when all the Neanderthal had were implements made of wood and stone… actually, to be historically accurate, the Neanderthal did not exist until 60,000 years ago, and what were existing 2 miilion years ago were homonids (creatures resembling human physiology) who actually don't have an idea what a stone is, thus erasing any decipherable opposition to their diabolical plans). It’s common sense, the more you plan, the less room for error. With such level of intelligence, and such a long time, one is left to ask: Is this the best they can do?

Third point: War is a concept created by man’s greed. The underlying principle at work here is that aliens are anthropomorphic. They indulge, they desire, they conspire and they kill – the way humans do. But the fact of the matter is, they would probably not think the way we think. Physiologically, there is little chance that they’ll be humanoids (beings which have some resemblance to human form). They probably won’t even have a physical form. Many planets have gaseous compositions, and to have a physical form like ours in that environment would surely be of disadvantage to them (or they won't even be in that form in the first place because they have to evolve to something else). Thus, concepts of mobility through walking, or digestion through sucking, or slaughter through laser beams, would probably be missing in their dictionary. But for a second, let’s imagine that aliens do look like what the creators thought of them to look. On a sociological standpoint, it is still unlikely that they would be able to conquer new worlds if their civilization can breed such destructively hostile behavior. It is most likely that with the technology they have, they would have probably blown themselves altogether before they could launch a single pod into space. If that be the case, then at least, we won’t be the only species in the universe who are capable of blasting itself into smithereens.

Interestingly, the most convincing representation of alien beings in a movie that I have seen is that of another Spielberg film. No, it’s not E.T. (duh?) Contact, where Jodie Foster plays an “orphaned” (in parentheses because she had no one and nothing to believe in except herself, alone in her search of that universal truth) scientist. It was a film dedicated to Karl Sagan, one of the greatest astrophysicists of our time. He (Karl Sagan) has authored several books regarding the possibility of extraterrestrial life, religion and philosophy.

And once again, I have stretched another topic to excruciatingly boring lengths. Tsk, tsk.

For all its worth, it is as suspenseful as my friends told me it was. Technically, I was amazed with how they made that freaking camera move so mobile. Especially when the family was in the van while going down the expressway, zigzagging its (the camera as well as the van) way around cars and other obstructions. Also, I have to admit that they did try to explore the main point of the story which is human’s desire for survival (but why do they have to make it so melodramatic? and it felt artificial. hay…). thus making any scientific incongruence a secondary if not an irrelevant concern. Story-wise, the best parts for me are: 1) when Ray, Robin and Rachel are inside the diner as gunshots are fired at the man who took their van 2) when Ray chooses between Robin and Rachel as the unstoppable leviathans try to make space dust out of poor helpless humans.

But again, going back to my original point, even a great director can’t hide the many inconsistencies in the story – a perfect example of the difficulties of adapting a story from one medium to another. I don’t blame them though for trying. CGI has made magic out of movies, making possible things older filmmakers only dreamed about during their time (a special mention goes to Orson Wells who did a stunt on radio in the 1970s which caused him some time behind bars and a deal of government fines for starting a public disturbance – apparently, people thought that Orson Wells news program was true: that aliens were trying to take over the world).

Final judgment: A popcorn movie of colossal proportions. Even H.G. Wells would have been happy, if only his other novel “Time Machine” could have been as real.

***

Last day of being 21 yesterday. Ang daming nangyari sa taong ito. And I have a hunch there sre plenty of exciting things to come. I’m really getting old. Hehehe. Maraming maraming maraming salamat po dun sa mga bumati. =) really really appreciate it.

By the way, as you may have noticed, this is my second post in 3 days (and very long posts at that). Kasi, I’ve noticed that my folder for unpublished posts is starting to get bigger and bigger; ideas and feelings that get wasted in harddrive space. You know, it’s like when you mean to say things but you’re not good in writing so you postpone it. And then even when a post is really necessary you still don’t publish your thoughts because somehow, you feel you still have to post those stuff that you have postponed to post but you don’t feel like finishing them anymore. And then, if you don’t write for awhile, it gets harder to write and then after awhile, it feels like it’s too late to write, and so you don’t, although you always know that you should have posted something. Gets?

So there, my second post in 3 days. =)

panalo!

The DLSU Green Archers sweep the series with a 2-0 standing, winning against the Ateneo Blue Eagles at the Big Dome this afternoon. Yes, you read it right. And nope, the UAAP won’t be kicking-off until next Sunday.

Coming from a late lunch at the friendly neighborhood carinderia, I got home this afternoon and turned on the television for some pre-thesis and post-siesta viewing. And then, as I switch the channel to Studio 23, I saw some guy wearing a green and white jersey shooting a free throw. And I said to myself, “this can’t be the UAAP? It’s just July 2.” But curiously, the faces and the names of the players were strangely familiar. And then it dawned on me, “I get it!!!” Hilariously, as they were going to pause for a commercial break, they replayed a footage of Franz Pumaren making a tree point shot… to the tune of Holding Up for a Hero!!! Hahahaha! How retro can you be?!

The title can’t be more self-serving: The Ultimate Showdown: Ateneo VS. La Salle. But who’s complaining right? And besides, it’s no news that the school war between Ateneo and La Salle has been there at the top of the list among such great battles as The Peloponnesian War, The Crusades and World War 1 and 2. Hehehe. Yeah, it’s a tad exaggerated (duh?) but it’s true that the competition between the two schools is one of those realities of Filipino society permanently lodged in the country’s psyche (did I mention self-serving? Hahaha!). From the dug-out to the boardroom, the tension between the two schools can’t be more apparent.

Coming from that quaint little place along Ortigas Avenue called LSGH, I had my share of stories about the rivalry. I can still remember the time when groups of the 3rd year would assemble at the amusement center at the basement of “Gale” (Robinson’s Galleria) to meet up with you know who for you know what. And then, you hear of stories of troops among troops of security guards and police men assembling at Paeng’s (a bowling center by Paeng Nepomuceno, also at Robinson’s Galleria) to stop a group of kids from doing you know what. By the way, when I say “you know what” I mean it in a gang-war kind of way and not in a bastos, sleazy kind of way. Kayo talaga, green talaga kayo! Hahaha. Wait, I’m not sure which is better. Hahaha. Anyways.

As I have said, mostly are just stories and accounts from the higher batches but I did read some newspaper clippings of some incidents, especially that of the car window smashing spree at the Araneta (tama ba? Now I’m not quite sure of the place). I choose to tell it like this – a somewhat bystander-slash-chismoso kind of stance – because I never did have a first hand experience with those sorts of events. Fortunately, being part of the high school swimming team has kept me away from having my head bashed and my back whacked by a baseball bat. By the way, I have added a link to the Green Oysters (that’s what we perennially and lovingly call our team although officially, we are the Stingrays) site. Feel free to check it out and meet some of my friends. Interestingly, we have Ateneans on our team. How? Long story. Hehe. Also, don’t bother looking for me in the pictures, I have been a “no-show” guy for a very long time. The last party that I have attended after a long while was that 2 weeks ago. And unfortunately (or fortunately), we didn’t have camera that night. Oh well, there’s always the next time. =)

Back to the story.

But even without the baseball bats, the rivalry has been apparent in many areas aside from the basketball court. I need not expound on this so I won’t. But rephrasing what a good friend said in one of her speeches, “Ang lamang na lang ng mga taga-Ateneo ay wala pang Lasalistang nagiging presidente.” Point well taken.

The games this afternoon was an interesting mix of euphoria brought by the same school spirit that has fuelled the UAAP through the years (as well as poured money into the pockets of countless opportunistic scalpers) and a nostalgia of days gone by when you watch the UAAP games not just for the games but because of the fact that you had someone to watch it with with. Again, I’m not going to expound on the natural high you get from screaming your lungs out, jumping, thumping, waving, clapping your hands until your palms become a beautiful bloody pink, clenching and throwing your fist on the air every time your team gets to score (or when they don’t) – that’s pretty self-explanatory. But I guess the latter is something many people take for granted, or at least, don’t realize yet – not until the noise, the cheers and jeers have died down, that they find cheering beside them a person not only someone who goes to the same school and shares the same color they’re wearing, but a friend who has always been there for them, whether they win or lose in that ultimate game we call Life.

As Noli Eala has commented, “There’s a lot of pointing going around here.” If you’re scratching your head and asking what the heck that meant, so did I. And then he explained it. Every time a player makes a shot, he points to the crowd. He points out to the crowd where his family is seated, a simple gesture to say thanks to their support for all that they’ve been through. There were two games played this afternoon, one for those batches 84 and older (The Legends Game) and another for those batches 85 and younger (All-Star Game). This gives you an idea how old these people are. Following that train of thought, we can say that many of these players already have their own families. So for many, it didn’t come as a surprise (if they’re Atenean or Lasallian) to see their dad, uncle, older brothers or even lolo’s suiting up for their Alma Maters. And of course, if the daddies, uncles, kuyas and lolos were there, so were their better halves (halfs). It was heartwarming to see parents wearing their caps on reverse, mingling with their children’s barkada (hmmm… come to think of it, it was the opposite – I think the more mature crowd outnumbered the younger ones, a change from the usual teen-packed audience of the UAAP). The nostalgia comes from the fact that these player are paying tribute not only to the schools which have helped them become who they are now but more importantly, to their families who have been there beside them, in or out of the court.

As for me, the UAAP has been a very special event to watch out for each and every year. But admittedly, I imbibed the UAAP fever late in school. I did watch some games back in high school but all of them were on the TV. I was more interested in the water, arcade games, the library and schoolwork than watching basketball and having to pay for it (if I ever did go to Araneta). But I’ve heard of their names: Aldeguer, Webb, Allado, Ritualo, Jose. But they were nothing more than that, just names. The funny thing is, if a cousin or a friend greets me with a, “hoy! galing ng La Salle ha”, I was all smiles and I would say “oo nga! galing namin no?”. Then suddenly, they follow it up with, “pero sayang, bridesmaid lang…” When that happens, I just scratch my head and say “ah, ganun ba? hehehe” while laughing nervously.

It is not until college that I got to really feel that energy, being pumped up every time I hear that La Salle has won a game or that they’re (we’re) up against Ateneo. And then there was Plaridel. Aside from covering the EDSA 2 and Mendiola rallies, sneaking inside Araneta was my favorite job as a photographer. Why sneaking? Hehehe. Basta. Hehehe. And the fun thing about it is that I was not alone in this fiendish exercise of wits and pambobola. I had my Retrato friends along with me. Leading our version of Mission Impossible was Boss Obi, and his sidekick(s) Kuya Caloy and Kuya Marco (and Ate Sansan, minsan). Then there was Jam, Betsy, Elmo, Gekgek, Macri, Franco, Jean, Kate, Christine, Christian (I hope I didn’t forget anyone, ngay…). Then there were also our friends from Isports, Lea, Yanyan, Ate Joy (hmmm… sino pa ba?). We were there, cheering and shouting… all of us… at the courtside! Hahaha! I was in first year and we were champions. We had wonderful pictures of those games (and of us watching the games). And we had each other to make those times some of the most wonderful moments of our lives.

Maybe, this is stretching the topic a little tiny bit too much but everyone has to agree that each of us has his or her own memory of the games that are far beyond than just watching the ball go through the hoop. As for me, after last year’s basketball season, UAAP will not be the same way again. Oh well. Let’s see what this season has in store for me.

This afternoon’s games were wonderful. Shempre! La Salle ang panalo e! Hahahaha!!! But besides the obvious (still laughing… Hahahaha!!!), and besides the heart-pumping basketball, the games were also filled with scenes that would surely put a smile on anybody’s face. And I leave you now with some of them:

- Members of the pep squad having a hard time bending down when they were doing the Rektikano routine. *wink wink*

- The beats of the ‘80s punctuating each break or line-up call. Think We Built This City, Buttercup, Let’s Get Physical, Eye of the Tiger, .Footloose, Staying Alive, I’m Coming Out and a song that goes, “Ooooohhh there she comes, she’s a man-eater.” Yah mahn.

- Players on the bench wearing glasses. (And they were obviously not for reading) *wink wink* ulit.

- Gary Lising and Sen. Dick Gordon together on the parquet shouting “Blue Eagles, Blue Eagles” with the “senior” Blue Babble Battalion. =)

- Danny Francisco on the hardwood after 18 (?) long years. His is quite a story. I learned about him when he was featured on a documentary on channel 4 (or 5). He was regarded as the next Mon Fernandez. Until a heart condition totally ended his career, at least, as a player. He was playing this afternoon wearing a Kevlar armor under his jersey to protect his chest. Touching story really.

- Cong. Fuentabella making 7-point shots (2 player shootout).

- Tonichi Yturri and Ren-ren Ritualo going against Jojo Lastimosa and Epok Quimpo, also in the 2 player shootout.

- Vince Hizon vs Mon Jose, each being a shadow to the other, both literally and figuratively. The match-up makes more sense when you see how they looked so alike with their headbands and bald heads. =)

- Coach Franz Pumaren making 3 point shots in the Legends Game!

- And his brother Dindo bucketing 6 of the first 7 points for the DLSU in the All Star Game!

Panalo tayo! Animo La Salle! And Go Ateneo na rin! Panalo tayong lahat! Weee!!!

----

By the way, I’m back. In the blogging world at least. =)

i'm sorry

currently listening to: You Won't See Me Crying / Passage

i'm sorry. i shouldn't have posted that comment. i guess this means goodbye then. glad to have met you. i didn't think a person could have that much effect on one's life for such brief a time. i'm sorry. thanks po for changing my life. i know this wouldn't change a thing, pero i miss you po. actually, i wanted to post so many things but i always find a reason not to. and all that i have written end up being saved as drafts. this is one of them.

Ubiquitous (05/20/2005)
You are everywhere I go, every person I meet, each face I see. You are there even when I am alone – especially, when I am alone. And in my solitude, I find you. I always find you. And amidst all the irony, strangely, I find myself smiling. Maybe, this is what they call melancholy, when you are not in control, when you find yourself in this mess when everything is sad and yet so beautiful.

i miss you so badly. walang araw na dumaan na di kita inisip. mula sa paggising ko sa umaga hanggang sa pagtulog ko, ikaw ang naiisip ko. sinubukan kitang kalimutan. but everywhere i look, i see your name. i always keep on finding you.

but i was not finding you. because nothing's there which was not there before. the fact is, i was searching for you. i was looking for you. that's why i always find you even in the tiniest scraps of my day.

i'm sorry tin. i hope life is treating you well.

i wish i could have written a better farewell letter. but you won't be reading this anyway. sorry.

tete-à-tete

currently listening to: sleeping to dream / jason mraz, out of reach / gabrielle, pushing him away / drip

presently indisposed.

private conversations - mixed media / photoshop 7.0